Try to discover “what things look like from inside that person’s world...” Focus on listening, rather than formulating an argument in your mind that pokes holes in what they’re saying. “ Listen like a friend, not like a lawyer..."
We assume that communication should come naturally to us, and maybe we think it does, especially in our romantic relationships. After all, we communicate all the time. We talk to our partners all the time about a wide range of topics, from what’s going on with our jobs to what’s for dinner to why we’re feeling so upset.